old habits don’t die

This is me, maybe at age 8? Or 7? I’m not sure. I do remember trying really hard to avoid smiling for this photo. Like, I was really opposed to smiling right then. I was over it. Who knows why. Kids are super weird.

To be fair, I’m not sure I’m terribly different today from who I was the day this photo was taken. I’m still goofy, bossy, stubborn and weird. So it’s really come as no surprise that I’m scheduled to take my Food Handlers License Final Exam today (!!!) – in an hour actually – and I’ve yet to do anything resembling studying. Relax, Mom. I just have to *pass* it.

And here I sit, blogging. Not reviewing my notes. Not even close. Hilarious, really. But nothing new. In the next few minutes, I’ll probably start reviewing, maybe for 20 minutes or so, maybe less. We’ll see how much I can actually retain once I get down to brass tacks. The likelihood, however, is that I’ll realize I should have reviewed the info two days ago. And I’ll give up, since there’s no use, and I’ll close the proverbial text book, shrug and walk bravely to my doom. It’s a cycle from my school years that I remember vividly. In fact, I feel surprisingly soothed to find myself repeating it.

Do I wish this personality trait of mine were different? Sure. Have I ever done anything to make it different? Debatable, but leaning toward No. Why? Who knows. Did I get by in school this way? Just fine, great actually. Until college? Yup. Then what? Got bad grades. Do I regret it? I’m honestly not sure, but probably not. Do we change as we get older? Evidently, No. Am I nervous about the exam? Not really. Do I wish I’d studied? Yeah, okay. What if I have to retake it because I fail it? Oh well.

And that. Might just be me in a nutshell.

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2 thoughts on “old habits don’t die

  1. Pingback: daily dessert « follow my bliss

  2. Pingback: I Passed! « Fear Of Missing Out

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