this gift i gave myself

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Yesterday was one of the better days of my entire life.

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No, nothing spectacular or unexpected happened. I didn’t win the lottery or find out I’m starring in the next Steven Spielberg. But I did experience some great feelings. I experienced the feeling of contentedly wandering around a beautiful city with which I am madly in love. The feeling of spending my time in whatever fashion I choose. The feeling of getting to enjoy a gorgeous-weather day without the threat of having to go back upstairs to the dark, chilly office because my lunch break is over. The feeling of going to yoga and knowing I don’t have to rush anywhere afterward, and I didn’t have to rush from anywhere to get there. The feeling of being in control of my life in a way that I never have been before. And most importantly, the knowledge that I gave this gift to myself. And it is the best thing I’ve done for myself in years.

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A lot of my friends who’ve found themselves out of work for any period of time have told me that you end up filling your time up with all kinds of things that you want to get done each day. And suddenly, after watching some morning news, having breakfast, exercising, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and heading into rehearsal in the evening, you’ve used up a whole entire day. And all you can think is, How did I ever fit any of this in when I was working?

Yesterday was very full and satisfying for me, even though did a lot less than I used to do when I was going to work everyday. It made me realize that trying to live my already very full life while having that desk job probably meant that nothing in my life was getting my full attention, and that I was breezing through things without actually experiencing them, just in order to get on to the next thing.

Well, not anymore.

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I met my friend Geoff and his adorable son Otto yesterday afternoon at Otto’s afterschool program on the Lower East Side. I’m going to pick Otto up from his little school one day a week, and hang out with him until I can drop him off to his dad, who is taking a class that doesn’t get out until the evening. Which means I get to spend four hours every Tuesday afternoon with a four year old – I love that. Kids are amazing creatures and Otto is a special guy who I’m lucky to get to hang out with. I’m excited to get to know him better. (Wait until I get a shot of his cute little face. His dad said it was okay if I took pictures of him, and – good thing – because he is absolutely precious.)

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I hadn’t been to the Lower East Side during the daytime in almost a year. I walked around snapping photos like a tourist, eating up this amazing city that I get to call home.

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Then after a nice time with Otto and his dad, I wandered down 14th Street, stopped for some amazing pizza, went to Whole Foods to have a spinach salad and did some more meal planning for the week. Then I went to hot yoga, which was fantastic, and then on to Astoria, Queens to hang out with my best friend Daniel. It was the perfect way to spend my day.

On the way home in the evening I saw that this was my horoscope in the paper:

“Follow your feelings and discover passions deeper than you thought possible. This could be a really good thing.”

Okay. I will.

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