My last saved blog draft is from Saturday night and it begins with my complaints about the horrible monsoon we were having. It moves on to note the yummy breakfast sandwich and blueberry meal I made for myself that afternoon. And then the entry stops abruptly because our cable and internet got knocked off and didn’t come back on for three days! I mean, no big deal I can get by, right? RIGHT?
Interestingly, a bunch of surprising stuff started happening that night, and has since continued, and it’s left me entirely out of the house and off the grid anyway. So I’ve barely noticed the technology outage. I’ve been working for someone else for the last few days. Doing what? Some baking! It’s not the gig from my earlier post, it’s something different entirely. The universe answered my job request like a pie to the face. And I’ve been working long hours in a new place doing new stuff and it’s craaazaaay! A little too crazy, maybe.
I’m not gonna write about it specifically yet because I’m not sure what the future holds for this employment situation. There’s a likely chance it’s a very temporary thing, I’m feeling like it might not be the right fit. And the owners and I agreed when I started working on Sunday morning that we would play it very much by ear anyway.
Mostly, I’d like to tell you that it’s been a pretty fantastic learning experience. I’ve had to be there at 7am for the last two days, meaning I have to leave the house at 6am, meaning I have to get up before that, meaning: scary. Being up early can be tough for me. But I’ve done it. And tomorrow I don’t have to be there until 9. Sleepin in, y’all!
Even though I don’t necessarily see myself continuing this gig for much longer, I’ve certainly been enriched for having had it for even a few days. I’ve discovered things about myself in a rush and a flurry since Sunday morning when I started. The opportunity to work for this place landed in my lap and I stood around staring at my life with my mouth agape while I accepted the chance to see how it might flow.
This whirlwind has taught me a lot about my own bakery, a lot about myself and my work ethic, and more still about what I want out of my life. When I quit my desk job back in October, I was making a declarative statement, in a sense, about what I wanted for my life. But just because I made that choice last year doesn’t mean that I now get to stop defining what I want and need. So this job opportunity has given me another chance to define and redefine what I’m doing here.
This is a shot of some yummy biscotti I made at this gig. I was very proud of these. Sometimes I like biscotti and sometimes I don’t, and I don’t see myself adding any to the F&J menu any time soon. But it was fun to practice the recipe. I’ve gotten to practice making lots of things in the last couple days.
What a wild ride this remains to be.
If anything, this experience has shaken me out of a little winter rut I was in. If I’m being honest, for a few weeks there I was feeling bored, uninspired, confused, worried and unmotivated. That was scary, because those were also feelings I was having when I was working in an office and dreading my weekdays. So why on earth should I be feeling that when I’m happily running my own business and enjoying a flexible schedule? Well, we are not our circumstances and we make our own happiness. That’s why. I’m reminded of that every day.
I’m excited to have woken up, literally and figuratively, over the last couple days and enjoyed a gentle reminder of who I am and what I want.