I was reminded today how often the phrase “quit your job” leads people to this blog and then I noticed that my post “I quit my job today” gets viewed a lot. So I went back to reread that old post, because I haven’t looked at it in a long time.
The post, in part, shared an excerpt from something I’d scrawled on the back of an office document earlier that week at my desk job:
The paperwork piles up and I stare off into space pretending it doesn’t matter. I am distracted by my own boredom every thirty seconds. I am completely unchallenged. Even if I were doing something “interesting” here, I’m not sure I’d be able to stand it. It makes me wonder if I have A.D.D. or a bad work ethic. In reality, I just don’t belong here.
There was no big moment, no final straw that led to this decision. Actually, that’s not entirely true. I wrote a long annoying blog entry draft last week about whether or not I should quit now or quit in January (after we get a small holiday bonus). I reread it after I wrote it and I knew I couldn’t post it. Because I was just sick of hearing myself talk about it. I thought, This is not the kind of problem I want to have. This is not going to help anyone else on their journey. This is just spinning wheels. This is avoiding taking a risk. This is a waste of my time. I’m not wasting any more time. I’m going to pursue work I’m passionate about and that’s all there is to it. No amount of waiting-until- January is going to improve my life.
When I read that, how far I’ve come really struck me. That used to be real. And now this is real. I guess I’m being hit upside the head every day lately with how many strides I’ve made since I quit my job. And that’s really nice. It makes me wonder what the point of this blog is anymore.
Maybe the point is just to continue telling my story. I like to tell stories.
The rest of that old entry said:
I’m going to pursue work I’m passionate about and practice trusting that the money will come. I’m not going to focus too heavily on my bank account (and what’s in it or not in it). I am a responsible person and my bills will get paid.
I am, however, going to set some specific goals, goals related to freelancing writing, blogging, the bakery, and using the value that is my weight loss expertise to help other people.
One afternoon last summer, Kevin and I were swimming at the local pool. I had been at this job for almost a year at the time. I knew I wasn’t ready to quit any time soon, I knew I had to plan and prepare and lay some foundation for myself first. And I also didn’t have any idea what I wanted to do once I did quit. I just knew it wasn’t my destiny to work in an office. We stared up at the blue summer sky and splashed our feet in the water, and I said to Kevin, “No matter what I end up doing, no matter what direction I choose, my only commitment to myself is that I will quit this job before I turn 29. That’s a year and a half from now. So I have plenty of time to figure it out.”
I turn 29 in two months. Here we go.
Brought me back, that did. I’m in a different zone now entirely. I’m sitting in my apartment about 75% of the way through my work day today. I’ve written, I’ve baked, I’ve worked on bakery paperwork, I’ve worked on Harvard Sailing Team stuff, soon I’ll go make a delivery and do an improv show. I’m starting to think of ALL of it as work – work I love to do, but work just the same. My day will end late tonight – I’ll probably come home and write some more. And we leave for a semi-business trip to Chicago in the morning. WHEW!
I’m loving it.