On Tuesday morning after the holiday weekend, I had big plans. It was June 1, and like I do with every first of every month, I decided it was the perfect time to start anew.
We cleaned our apartment over the weekend. I reorganized my desk. I made myself a schedule of my obligations for the upcoming week. I felt prepared, confident, happy and well-rested. I went to bed early on Monday night in preparation for my Major Life Overhaul on Tuesday morning.
Now, I have professed before to believe that Major Life Overhauls are never good things. Making changes happens step by step. Not in a weekend or after one snaps their fingers. I have lived this. I know it to be true. Still, my guard was down. The holiday weekend’s indulgence combined with an incredibly busy summer ahead tricked me into thinking I could revamp my whole manner of existing overnight. And that it would be marvelously productive.
So on the morning of the big day, Tuesday, June 1, I got right down to it. Except, aside from trying to stick to my plan, I found myself spending a lot of time keeping a mental checklist of what was and wasn’t working…which…wasn’t working. Updating a mental checklist all day long doesn’t make you more productive, ya know? But I soldiered on.
Get up early
Do morning chores
Eat a healthy, filling breakfast
Start working at 10am on the nose
Write a lot all day long
Take a long walk
Have a productive HST business meeting
Do any yoga
Do any bakery work
Complete my To Do List
And this ran through my mind all day long to the point of near-madness. Interestingly, there’s a lot more on the DID list, but I was more focused on the DID NOTS. Because that’s what I do.
All in all, it was a bizarre experiment. Even so, I still naively assumed the changes I put in place on Tuesday, June 1 would stick. That evening, I made my lists for the next day, planned to wake up early – breakfast, chores, work as scheduled. I got into bed at a reasonable time.
…and then I didn’t fall asleep until 3:52am.
Because my body and brain were like “HELL NO, B!T@H. Bemusing attempt, though.”
So much for my brilliant, effective, efficient, responsible, productive, life-altering plan.
This morning, I woke up at a time more normal for my body (based on its habits of the last eight months). I didn’t do any morning chores, I ate breakfast while I sat at my computer, I did work as it came and I still don’t know if I’ll have a chance to workout today or not.
My best laid plans met their untimely demise this morning.